By Robert.

My own erotic fetish is quite different than mainstream gay culture; if there even is anything defined as mainstream gay culture.  I don't seem to have desire for intercourse or being in a committed relationship.  I've heard the term Outercourse in some safe sex discussions.  The vast world of erotic alternatives to Intercourse, I guess.  Voyeurism has a bad connotation but that comes close to what appeals to me.  Not really watching people having sex, but I do like some of the scenery in places of nudity.  It's the shape of the body more than the genitalia.  Also, in the places I go where there is nudity, people seem more genuine. Conversations are more in depth and less superficial.  Places like hot springs and some gym saunas tend to be good places for conversation.  Usually better than noisy bars.  Not liking the flavor of beer can be a social handicap.

I like getting to know people, but not necessarily becoming entangled with them, either physically or as part of a relationship.  Having a wide variety of friends is important.  For some reason, the combination of nudity, or even just partial nudity, and intelligent conversation is what I crave.

Most of the people I enjoy conversation with are not necessarily that attractive to me, but occasionally there are folks who's looks fit that bill.  Even though most of the people aren't necessarily attractive, I still prefer the relaxed social scene around a spa to the more competitive and superficial scene of a bar or, for that matter, an on line dating service.  Having connection to community matters to me.  I'm not just shopping for the best cantaloupe out there.  

The so called "normal" world of dating and sexuality doesn't make sense to me.  It seems like it's moving too fast.  I am in Theslowlane afterall.  People seem in a hurry to "get a relationship."  They must feel that they have to act quicky so someone else will not snap up the potential mate.  After hurried commitment is made, the relationship often falls apart when folks start taking the time to really get to know one another. It's like shopping for widgets.  It takes me quite a while to get to know someone.

I've never really been in a relationship, myself.  Maybe I'm not seen as the greatest commodity.  Living alone and independently has some advantages also.  While I do live alone, I like having connection.  I have a wide circle of friends and community.  Eroticism is fairly mild for me.    


Below are links to some comments, true stories and fantasies of mine.  About one hundred years ago (just kidding) there was a series of "safe sex" workshops in Bellingham.  It was part of a program called "Friend To Friend;" based out of University of Washington in Seattle.  They encouraged me to write.  Since then I have continued, resulting in this section of my site.  

Besides Facebook, most of my recent writing and photography goes into my eclectic Blog.  Things appear under the label of Sexuality.  I have a big interest in how eroticism can encourage health.  Instead of fitness being a chore, how about making it a Dance?

Transportation can become fitness also; especially if one is biking or walking. Being among attractive cyclists provides incentive to ride.  Too bad World Naked Bike Ride only happens once per year.  Even so, biking is a great lifestyle.  Not only do our personal lives effect our health, they also effect the environment.  I have a blog label for Gay Environmentalism, for lack of a better term.  Here's my label about Polyamory.   

Below: Things I
posted before
starting the blog

drawing
When I stopped at a bike shop on my bicycling way into Vancouver, I was looking for a map.  They didn't happen to have that map, but the nice clerk was cleaning his glasses.  It was worth the stop.
  

Comments and
photos from my
trips


California
Review of some clothing optional spots on coast

Vancouver, BC
Gay and bike friendly

Seattle
Review of Romp Naked in Seattle several years ago

Trip to Triangle Recreation Camp, a gay resort near Seattle


Father and Son art in Seattle


Oregon
A nice hot spring near Eugene, OR.

Fairie Gathering in Breitenbush, OR.


Spokane
Visiting Spokane's gay scene

Bellingham area
Christmas party at the hostel

Seeing beneath the denim


Married man or maybe not


Other areas
From my 1998 cross country bike tour


A friend writes about gay life in Quito Ecuador



Fantasies I
wrote

Slumber party at the recreation center

Small town campground


Escaping the night shift


The tallest building in town




More
Commentaries

Photos and so forth


What I look like


Polyamory can mean lighter touch


Building gay community at the gym


Gay marriage; be careful what you ask for


Rest room and education




Reader
comment
It may be in the slow lane for some, but for me it moves at more than deliberate speed. Finally a gay friendly site that views gays as more than the occasional piece of meat. Especially, I appreciated Afternoon Hike. After I read it, I felt like one of the hikers.  Don.




Some external
links
Blithe House Quarterly

Careers in HIV prevention
Disease Prevention Careers
Public Health Degrees & Careers