My own erotic fetish is quite different than
mainstream gay culture; if there even is anything defined as mainstream
gay culture. I don't seem to have desire for intercourse or
being in a committed relationship. I've heard the term Outercourse
in some safe sex discussions. The vast world of erotic alternatives
to Intercourse, I guess. Voyeurism has a bad connotation but that
comes close to what appeals to me. Not really watching people having
sex, but I do like some of the scenery in places of nudity. It's the
shape of the body more than the genitalia. Also, in the places I
go where there is nudity, people seem more genuine. Conversations are
more in depth and less superficial. Places like hot springs
and some gym saunas tend to be good places for conversation. Usually
better than noisy bars. Not liking the flavor of beer can be a social
I like getting to know people, but not necessarily becoming entangled
with them, either physically or as part of a relationship. Having
a wide variety of friends is important. For some reason, the combination
of nudity, or even just partial nudity, and intelligent conversation
is what I crave.
Most of the people I enjoy conversation with
are not necessarily that attractive to me, but occasionally there
are folks who's looks fit that bill. Even though most of
the people aren't necessarily attractive, I still prefer the relaxed
social scene around a spa to the more competitive and superficial
scene of a bar or, for that matter, an on line dating service. Having
connection to community matters to me. I'm not just shopping
for the best cantaloupe out there.
The so called "normal" world of dating and sexuality
doesn't make sense to me. It seems like it's moving too
fast. I am in Theslowlane afterall. People seem in a
hurry to "get a relationship." They must feel that they have
to act quicky so someone else will not snap up the potential mate.
After hurried commitment is made, the relationship often falls
apart when folks start taking the time to really get to know one another.
It's like shopping for widgets. It takes me quite a while to get
to know someone.
I've never really been in a relationship, myself.
Maybe I'm not seen as the greatest commodity. Living
alone and independently has some advantages also. While
I do live alone, I like having connection. I have a wide circle
of friends and community. Eroticism is fairly mild for me.
Below are links to some comments,
true stories and fantasies of mine. About one hundred
years ago (just kidding) there was a series of "safe sex" workshops
in Bellingham. It was part of a program called "Friend To
Friend;" based out of University
of Washington in Seattle. They encouraged
me to write. Since then I have continued, resulting in this
section of my site.
Besides Facebook, most of my recent writing and
photography goes into my eclectic Blog. Things appear under
the label of Sexuality.
I have a big interest in how eroticism can encourage health.
Instead of fitness being a chore, how about making it a Dance?
Transportation can become fitness also; especially
if one is biking or walking. Being among attractive cyclists provides
incentive to ride. Too bad World Naked
Bike Ride only happens once per year. Even so, biking
is a great lifestyle. Not only do our personal lives effect
our health, they also effect the environment. I have a blog
label for Gay
Environmentalism, for lack of a better term. Here's
my label about Polyamory.
Below: Things I
starting the blog
When I stopped at a bike shop on my bicycling
way into Vancouver, I was looking for a map. They didn't
happen to have that map, but the nice clerk was cleaning his glasses.
It was worth the stop.
Blithe House Quarterly
in HIV prevention:
Health Degrees & Careers: